Beyond the Scoreboard: How Redefining Success and Goal-Setting Can Reduce Anxiety for Youth Athletes

“Why do you play your sport? What do you love about it?”

These are two questions I like to ask youth athletes. Typical responses include, “Because it’s fun,” or “Because I like to play with my friends.” Youth sports participation can foster socialization, problem-solving skills, and healthy habits. So why do some young athletes begin to experience anxiety and stress as a result of participating in sports?

When young athletes tie their self-worth to the scoreboard, the pressure to win or perform “perfectly” can trigger overwhelming mental and physical reactions associated with sports performance anxiety. Supporting a young athlete’s skill development and personal growth in a healthy way requires a team effort from parents and coaches. It also requires a shift in focus, away from the final result of competition (wins or losses), and toward player development and opportunities to learn from mistakes.

What Youth Sports Performance Anxiety Looks and Feels Like

Anxiety is not just “in your head”; it can show up through physical and emotional symptoms.

Common physical symptoms may include a rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, nausea or “butterflies” in the stomach, trembling hands, shaky legs, muscle tension, sweating, or dizziness. Anxiety can also disrupt eating and sleeping patterns before a competition.

Emotionally, athletes may experience difficult thoughts and feelings, including a fear of failure and pressure to play “perfectly.” They may also catastrophize—for example, thinking, “If we lose this game, the whole season is ruined.” When athletes base their self-worth on wins and losses, it can lead to lower self-esteem, declining confidence, and, in some cases, burnout.

Focus First on What You Can Control

When an athlete’s only goal is to win or finish in first place, they can lose sight of their preparation, skills, and team goals—the factors they can control. When they focus on referee calls, an opponent’s skill level, weather conditions, or league standings, their attention shifts to outcomes outside their control. That shift can lead to anxious thoughts, overthinking, and a loss of confidence, all of which can negatively impact performance. Focusing on controllable actions instead helps athletes stay grounded in the present and direct their energy toward productive effort.

Shifting the Focus Through Goal-Setting: Process vs. Outcome

Setting goals gives young athletes a clearer sense of direction and purpose in sports. It also gives them an opportunity to reflect on their growth, recognize progress, and build self-confidence.

For athletes experiencing sports performance anxiety, goal-setting can be a useful tool for resetting their mindset and shifting attention from the scoreboard (an outcome), to effort and growth (the process). Parents and coaches can support this work while respecting the athlete’s individual journey.

Examples of outcome goals that are not fully within an athlete’s control include winning a game or making the varsity team after tryouts. Wanting to win or make a particular team is not necessarily a bad thing. However, an athlete does not have complete control over these outcomes. Focusing only on outcome goals can create unhelpful anxiety and stress that interfere with performing at their best.

Process goals, by contrast, are fully within the athlete’s control. Encouraging athletes to identify process goals helps them focus on specific actions that support growth and athletic development. This approach often leads to greater confidence and, over time, improved performance. One process goal might involve a specific skill or technique, such as “maintain a low center of gravity while digging a volleyball.” Another may focus on a positive habit, such as “sprinting back on defense after a turnover” in basketball. A third example is “cheer for teammates from the sidelines,” which applies to any team sport. “Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready” is a popular phrase used by coaches to keep players engaged on the sideline or bench. This process-oriented mindset helps individual athletes stay prepared while also fostering a team culture of support and encouragement—both of which can contribute to team success.

Introducing young athletes to thoughtful, process-oriented goal-setting can help them identify areas for improvement, develop a strong work ethic, and sustain motivation. By reflecting on their progress, athletes can build confidence and self-esteem through recognizing what they are capable of accomplishing. Ultimately, these skills can benefit them not only in athletics, but also in academics and life beyond sports.

Activity:

Encourage a young athlete you know to brainstorm one process goal. Then, have them write down three specific actions they can take to work toward that goal. After one or two weeks, invite them to reflect on their progress, what worked, and what they would like to adjust.

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